This weeks goal is to honor my commitments. Keep in contact with my friends, do my homework, stick to my diet, and work out every day. Doing laundry is my arch nemesis so i'm going to drag my butt up and down the stairs until every piece of laundry is cleaned. Then for once, my boyfriend can come home and actually walk around our clutter-free room and I don't have to spend his week off trying to find something for the kids to wear.
Also, as a huge fan of Gail Vaz-Oxlade's "Till Debt Do Us Part" I'm going to restrict myself to a 100$/week budget and see if it helps me to curb my spending. Impulsive shopping, eating, and lazing are my biggest downfalls. I try to make up for it with my personality *bats eyelashes* but the days when I'm a bitch-a-holic make me realize that I might want to work on curbing my impulses instead.
Anyone have a parka I can borrow? Its -35 here :S
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Hello My Little Friend!
And welcome to 2012! In this year we will be featuring a total of 0 Sturkenboom births, 1 preschool graduation, 1 college application, several birthdays, lots of schoolwork, hopefully a vacation, and of course continued family drama.
I think I got this year off on the wrong foot - loathing myself. Loathing my addictions, my flaws, my situation, etc. Now 2 weeks in, I realize that my attitude and approach were all wrong. I don't need to make New Years resolutions because I'm already pretty fantastic. I don't need to drastically alter my daily patterns or overhaul my personality - I just need to have a good attitude and enjoy life!
In the past week I have both participated in and strayed from the 17 day diet. I started last Wednesday, and lost 6 lbs before falling off the wagon on Monday. I think I gave up too soon because I got discouraged, but its actually a pretty fantastic and doable plan. Today, I pick up where I left off and continue the journey. Following this eating plan has taught me that 1. Eating plain yogurt isn't actually that bad 2. I can survive on alot fewer calories than I previously imagined (I don't need 3000 cals/day?) 3. I really control my eating better when I don't eat carbs like bread and pasta and 4. I have self-control (who knew!). I would recommend this plan for diet a holics, junk foodies, and food abusers everwhere.
In terms of my relationship, we maintain a balance between love and hate which sometimes tips one way or the other, but at least we continue to push forward in a hopeful state. I have never actually fought for a relationship before so this is all new territory to me, as I imagine it is for him as well. Mainly I just wish he would stop leaving open food containers on the counter and clean up his little beard hairs in the sink... but I digress. :)
I will never win Mother of the Year though at times I might win Loudest Mother of the Year. My little boy just turned 1 and continues to be a little ray of sunshine in my life. He babbles constantly and is learning to walk, and also learning how to assert his will (NO!). My daughter will be 9 in March.. which my sister pointed out means that she will be a teenager in 4 short years. I don't know if I'm equipped to handle this, I guess we will have to see! She is really rocking out this soccer year, I can see that her technique has improved and she plays more of a skilled game as opposed to her typical 'run and flail' routine :) She also wants to learn to play the guitar, but I'm thinking that instead of expensive music lessons I might see if I can help her learn it on her own (.. with my help).
This semester I'm learning linguistics, modern political thought (Hobbes, Rousseau), and contemporary political issues (nuclear proliferation, human rights, terrorism, environment etc). I'm really enjoying my political issues class, and have just read a really compelling article on apartheid in South Africa. I have heard the term 'apartheid' before but I didn't realize the history or extent of it. As late as 1990 the black people of South Africa still had very little rights, and atrocities not just against freedom fighters but against women, children, and educated civilians occured (and still occur? The article was written in 2000 so I'm not aware of the current situation). The other 2 classes are ok, but I can see that this is going to be my favorite class for sure.
I started out the New Year with old and new Matt Good, also loving the new Foo and Coldplay album and REALLY looking forward to the new Silversun Pickups album (its about friggen time!!). Other current favs include Foster the People, Broken Bells, Florence and the Machine, and Airborne Toxic Event's new album.
My workout goals aren't lofty.. I mainly just want to be able to do one whole chin-up by myself. I continue to look for ways to vary up my gym routine because otherwise I get bored very quickly. Lately I've been playing with supersets - doing 2 very intense exercises using the same muscle (in different ways) back to back. So for instance I would do 12 tricep dips and then do 12 lying tricep extensions. I actually kind of like supersets because I get an awesome workout but I don't feel so sore the next day that I can't pick up my son. I've also been breaking up my cardio into different motions, so instead of doing 30 minutes on the elliptical (zzz... i'm so bored with that machine) I do like 15 mintues stair climbing and 15 minutes running. I also just recently tried zumba - what a fantastic class! The one I attend uses a few different types of dance and music (latin, India, pop dance) and I always feel so feminine and beautiful when I dance. Its less like a workout and more like play time with your girlfriends :)
Well that about sums up my new year, I'm not going to make any goals this year, I think I'm just going to focus (as always) on growing as a person and expanding my mind and hopefully my global travel :) I wish everyone the best in their 2012 endeavours.
I think I got this year off on the wrong foot - loathing myself. Loathing my addictions, my flaws, my situation, etc. Now 2 weeks in, I realize that my attitude and approach were all wrong. I don't need to make New Years resolutions because I'm already pretty fantastic. I don't need to drastically alter my daily patterns or overhaul my personality - I just need to have a good attitude and enjoy life!
In the past week I have both participated in and strayed from the 17 day diet. I started last Wednesday, and lost 6 lbs before falling off the wagon on Monday. I think I gave up too soon because I got discouraged, but its actually a pretty fantastic and doable plan. Today, I pick up where I left off and continue the journey. Following this eating plan has taught me that 1. Eating plain yogurt isn't actually that bad 2. I can survive on alot fewer calories than I previously imagined (I don't need 3000 cals/day?) 3. I really control my eating better when I don't eat carbs like bread and pasta and 4. I have self-control (who knew!). I would recommend this plan for diet a holics, junk foodies, and food abusers everwhere.
In terms of my relationship, we maintain a balance between love and hate which sometimes tips one way or the other, but at least we continue to push forward in a hopeful state. I have never actually fought for a relationship before so this is all new territory to me, as I imagine it is for him as well. Mainly I just wish he would stop leaving open food containers on the counter and clean up his little beard hairs in the sink... but I digress. :)
I will never win Mother of the Year though at times I might win Loudest Mother of the Year. My little boy just turned 1 and continues to be a little ray of sunshine in my life. He babbles constantly and is learning to walk, and also learning how to assert his will (NO!). My daughter will be 9 in March.. which my sister pointed out means that she will be a teenager in 4 short years. I don't know if I'm equipped to handle this, I guess we will have to see! She is really rocking out this soccer year, I can see that her technique has improved and she plays more of a skilled game as opposed to her typical 'run and flail' routine :) She also wants to learn to play the guitar, but I'm thinking that instead of expensive music lessons I might see if I can help her learn it on her own (.. with my help).
This semester I'm learning linguistics, modern political thought (Hobbes, Rousseau), and contemporary political issues (nuclear proliferation, human rights, terrorism, environment etc). I'm really enjoying my political issues class, and have just read a really compelling article on apartheid in South Africa. I have heard the term 'apartheid' before but I didn't realize the history or extent of it. As late as 1990 the black people of South Africa still had very little rights, and atrocities not just against freedom fighters but against women, children, and educated civilians occured (and still occur? The article was written in 2000 so I'm not aware of the current situation). The other 2 classes are ok, but I can see that this is going to be my favorite class for sure.
I started out the New Year with old and new Matt Good, also loving the new Foo and Coldplay album and REALLY looking forward to the new Silversun Pickups album (its about friggen time!!). Other current favs include Foster the People, Broken Bells, Florence and the Machine, and Airborne Toxic Event's new album.
My workout goals aren't lofty.. I mainly just want to be able to do one whole chin-up by myself. I continue to look for ways to vary up my gym routine because otherwise I get bored very quickly. Lately I've been playing with supersets - doing 2 very intense exercises using the same muscle (in different ways) back to back. So for instance I would do 12 tricep dips and then do 12 lying tricep extensions. I actually kind of like supersets because I get an awesome workout but I don't feel so sore the next day that I can't pick up my son. I've also been breaking up my cardio into different motions, so instead of doing 30 minutes on the elliptical (zzz... i'm so bored with that machine) I do like 15 mintues stair climbing and 15 minutes running. I also just recently tried zumba - what a fantastic class! The one I attend uses a few different types of dance and music (latin, India, pop dance) and I always feel so feminine and beautiful when I dance. Its less like a workout and more like play time with your girlfriends :)
Well that about sums up my new year, I'm not going to make any goals this year, I think I'm just going to focus (as always) on growing as a person and expanding my mind and hopefully my global travel :) I wish everyone the best in their 2012 endeavours.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Great Expectations
This week I've been pondering the human condition known as 'placing expectations on others.' Its a human trait that has been around since the dawn of time and has spawned such events as The Crusades, world wars, and electing George W. Bush. Whenever you hear a person saying, "why can't that other person do (insert activity or behaviour) a certain way," you are witnessing this human condition in action.
Everyone has experienced life in their own particular way, with their own influences and life lessons. People's experiences are like fingerprints in that no 2 people will ever go through life in exactly the same way. Therefore, we have learned what works and what doesn't work for us in various situations. This creates an intelligence that lets us know that we MUST have the answers when it comes to various problems.
But our life experience is just that - OURS. Its helpful sometimes to share what you've been through with someone in a similar situation in order to help them reach a decision or to cope, but they path they choose to take is entirely their own. Even my best friend, who I've known since Grade 5, doesn't need my input in order to make decisions. Even though we've shared many life experiences, her goals and rationale for decision making are much different than mine are.
I think of this even with my daughter. As parents we definitely tend to project our expectations on our children, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, sometimes a little understanding goes a long way. Even though I am raising my daughter, and I have been her primary influence since birth, I still don't know how she is emotionally and cognitively processing all the things she is learning, and therefore I don't REALLY understand her. In all likelihood she is a completely different personality than me, with priorities and agendas all her own (for instance maybe finishing her art project is much more important than cleaning her room).
Usually when we place our expectations on other people, we are doing so because we ultimately want to help them, and we believe that the best way to do so is to give them our road map. What it ACTUALLY does is drive people away, because when they feel that our solutions are inadequate (for them) they feel more distant from us instead of closer to us.
Its a quick fix really - love other people the way they are. If you have a friend who is constantly late, then you either love them AND their tardiness or you stop hanging around with them. Some people live 10 mintues past the due date because that has always worked for them in the past. If you have a child who consistantly repeats a pattern of behaviour that you don't understand, take the time to look at things from their point of view and try to see where they are coming from. If you have a spouse who has different priorities than you, talk about where you both want to be in the future - maybe you want the same destination but you journey differently. If you have a sibling who lives life in a completely foreign manner to you, Let. Them. Be. Even growing up in the same household doesn't automatically mean continuity of thought. Living life this way - keeping our expectations to ourselves - is a much more peaceful way to interact with others. Recognize your own strengths and weaknesses, and build on that. If you just can't bear to be around someone, then don't. Interfering will never make things better.
Everyone has experienced life in their own particular way, with their own influences and life lessons. People's experiences are like fingerprints in that no 2 people will ever go through life in exactly the same way. Therefore, we have learned what works and what doesn't work for us in various situations. This creates an intelligence that lets us know that we MUST have the answers when it comes to various problems.
But our life experience is just that - OURS. Its helpful sometimes to share what you've been through with someone in a similar situation in order to help them reach a decision or to cope, but they path they choose to take is entirely their own. Even my best friend, who I've known since Grade 5, doesn't need my input in order to make decisions. Even though we've shared many life experiences, her goals and rationale for decision making are much different than mine are.
I think of this even with my daughter. As parents we definitely tend to project our expectations on our children, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, sometimes a little understanding goes a long way. Even though I am raising my daughter, and I have been her primary influence since birth, I still don't know how she is emotionally and cognitively processing all the things she is learning, and therefore I don't REALLY understand her. In all likelihood she is a completely different personality than me, with priorities and agendas all her own (for instance maybe finishing her art project is much more important than cleaning her room).
Usually when we place our expectations on other people, we are doing so because we ultimately want to help them, and we believe that the best way to do so is to give them our road map. What it ACTUALLY does is drive people away, because when they feel that our solutions are inadequate (for them) they feel more distant from us instead of closer to us.
Its a quick fix really - love other people the way they are. If you have a friend who is constantly late, then you either love them AND their tardiness or you stop hanging around with them. Some people live 10 mintues past the due date because that has always worked for them in the past. If you have a child who consistantly repeats a pattern of behaviour that you don't understand, take the time to look at things from their point of view and try to see where they are coming from. If you have a spouse who has different priorities than you, talk about where you both want to be in the future - maybe you want the same destination but you journey differently. If you have a sibling who lives life in a completely foreign manner to you, Let. Them. Be. Even growing up in the same household doesn't automatically mean continuity of thought. Living life this way - keeping our expectations to ourselves - is a much more peaceful way to interact with others. Recognize your own strengths and weaknesses, and build on that. If you just can't bear to be around someone, then don't. Interfering will never make things better.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Goodbye Friend
In reflecting on not just past but current friendships, I've come to the realization that while some friendships are destined for eternity, others serve only an interim function. This is the friend who was placed in your life to help you find your way, or so that you could be a shoulder for them, or whatever. These kinds of friendships are great in the moment, but as soon as there is no crisis to support them, they die. Its not really a sad thing, but as I tend to wax nostalgic about things I reflect on these lost friendships with a bit of a wishful air. I wish that I could have savoured these relationships more, knowing that they were temporary. I wish that I could've listened more, offered more, really made the best of the situation. I wish that we could sit around and reminisce one last time. Alas, I am a firm believer in leaving my behind in the past. If a relationship is meant to be lost then I must respectfully leave it as such.
But to you, my lost friends, whom I must delete at last from my contact list and learn to love you only in my cherished memories, I wish you nothing but joy and happiness.
But to you, my lost friends, whom I must delete at last from my contact list and learn to love you only in my cherished memories, I wish you nothing but joy and happiness.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Finally!
Something worth fighting for. James Cameron, Titanic and Avatar director, has paid a visit to the Oil Sands of Alberta on the request of the aboriginal people of Fort Chipewyan. These people have been suffering for decades from rare diseases which they firmly believe are the direct result of being downstream from the Oil Sands plants. Dispite all the evidence to the contrary (2 headed fish being found in the river, a medical doctor confirming these suspicions) the government of Alberta has repeatedly ignored the cries for help from these people. To such a degree, that James Cameron visited them before our Premier, Ed Stelmach, even has. Though he has been premier for FOUR years (in December) he has never visited the hamlet of Fort Chip.
After visiting with the people of Fort Chip, James Cameron has agreed to help the people resolve the problems which are causing them to be sick. You can read more about that here. I think this is an amazing thing - that Cameron would even bother with this group of people. Alot of people criticize him, saying why doesn't he look after this group or that group. But a man can only fight one battle at a time!
The backlash is considerable; Albertans who enjoy a good living off of the Oil Sands put their backs up and refuse to acknowledge that there is even a problem here. Yet if you were to ask any one defender 'so... do you believe that the Oil Sands actually pose no health risks at all?' they would say 'well of course they pose health risks.' Noone actually believes that the Oil Sands is a clean operation, they just don't want to help clean up the mess.
When I lived in Fort McMurray for a decade, there was a Dr. O'Connor there who was not only a family physician but the only coroner. He fought for 2 things: the twinning of highway 63 due to all the fatalities, and the health of the people of Fort Chip. He was run out of town, discredited by his profession, but ultimately praised for his efforts (a documentary about his work won an Oscar). What does that say about the truth? That people don't WANT to hear the truth, but it will ultimately come out.
Now I don't want to see the Oil Sands shut down. I can't even imaging the local, provincial, and world-wide repercussions of such an event. But it is time that they are held accountable for the lives they are silently drowning out underneath barrels of oil. Its time that they put some of their royalties towards the people of Alberta who are the backbone of their operation. And I'm damn glad that Cameron is here to help :)
After visiting with the people of Fort Chip, James Cameron has agreed to help the people resolve the problems which are causing them to be sick. You can read more about that here. I think this is an amazing thing - that Cameron would even bother with this group of people. Alot of people criticize him, saying why doesn't he look after this group or that group. But a man can only fight one battle at a time!
The backlash is considerable; Albertans who enjoy a good living off of the Oil Sands put their backs up and refuse to acknowledge that there is even a problem here. Yet if you were to ask any one defender 'so... do you believe that the Oil Sands actually pose no health risks at all?' they would say 'well of course they pose health risks.' Noone actually believes that the Oil Sands is a clean operation, they just don't want to help clean up the mess.
When I lived in Fort McMurray for a decade, there was a Dr. O'Connor there who was not only a family physician but the only coroner. He fought for 2 things: the twinning of highway 63 due to all the fatalities, and the health of the people of Fort Chip. He was run out of town, discredited by his profession, but ultimately praised for his efforts (a documentary about his work won an Oscar). What does that say about the truth? That people don't WANT to hear the truth, but it will ultimately come out.
Now I don't want to see the Oil Sands shut down. I can't even imaging the local, provincial, and world-wide repercussions of such an event. But it is time that they are held accountable for the lives they are silently drowning out underneath barrels of oil. Its time that they put some of their royalties towards the people of Alberta who are the backbone of their operation. And I'm damn glad that Cameron is here to help :)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The WTF Pregnancy
I am sooooooooooo sick of hearing of babies. Yes, I am pregnant, but that doens't mean every facebook post, comment out of my mouth, or daydream of mine involves babies. I don't let the world know when I have a doctors appointment, I don't post pictures of the ultrasound (who the FUCK cares about an ultrasound picture except the parents), and I don't mention every time I have a cramp or a hiccup.
These little tween kids having kids on my facebook page are driving me nuts. One of them is my sister, who is miraculously going into labour tonight. Which is an extreme relief to me because she has been 'going into labour' since the end of June. Oh, and she's not due for another 3 weeks.
They finally admitted her into the hospital, but I'm pretty sure its just because they are so sick and tired of her coming in every day. They probably had a staff meeting and said 'for fuckssake.. lets just take her kid out' and then got a half-sober doctor to sign off on the order.
You know what my goals are this year? To do some schooling, work until they tell me to go home, to shove this kid out, then to go back to a normal life. Because I actually HAVE a life. I love to visit my friends, listen to music, read, exercise, engage in political debate, learn about the environment, make fun of americans... I could go on and on. In an age where information is so accessible we almost learn through osmosis my sister and her giggly friends have nothing on their minds but babies. I feel like they're trying to drag the female population back to a shadowed 50's era. I have no qualms with people who are stay at home mothers - indeed they are lucky to be so hands-on with their children - but you don't have to be a moron about it.
Anyhoo.. that is my rant. I hope she has the kid and life goes back to normal because its been a really fucked up 8 months.
These little tween kids having kids on my facebook page are driving me nuts. One of them is my sister, who is miraculously going into labour tonight. Which is an extreme relief to me because she has been 'going into labour' since the end of June. Oh, and she's not due for another 3 weeks.
They finally admitted her into the hospital, but I'm pretty sure its just because they are so sick and tired of her coming in every day. They probably had a staff meeting and said 'for fuckssake.. lets just take her kid out' and then got a half-sober doctor to sign off on the order.
You know what my goals are this year? To do some schooling, work until they tell me to go home, to shove this kid out, then to go back to a normal life. Because I actually HAVE a life. I love to visit my friends, listen to music, read, exercise, engage in political debate, learn about the environment, make fun of americans... I could go on and on. In an age where information is so accessible we almost learn through osmosis my sister and her giggly friends have nothing on their minds but babies. I feel like they're trying to drag the female population back to a shadowed 50's era. I have no qualms with people who are stay at home mothers - indeed they are lucky to be so hands-on with their children - but you don't have to be a moron about it.
Anyhoo.. that is my rant. I hope she has the kid and life goes back to normal because its been a really fucked up 8 months.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Nothing More Satisfying Than a Job Well Done
I wrote this letter to my boss this morning after he walked by my desk and asked me what's new on Facebook. I felt indignant. I was NOT on Facebook, I was actually reading a really funny yet informative blog post.
This is the email I sent him
To: Frank Parolin
Re: Productivity Report
June 22, 2010
Dear Mr. Parolin,
In regards to your earlier comments where you speculated on my computer endeavors, I would just like to clarify where exactly your hard-earned dollars are going. When I began with this office, I was just another out of work secretary who knew some about computer programs. As I was welcomed into this haven by the wonderful people who are your coworkers, I began to realize that my life here could be so much more. I have been so encouraged and uplifted by the people who work here that I lay awake at night with visions of how I can make exceptional contributions to the team as well.
My first role is obviously to field the various important calls that come to the office. Were it not for my pleasant and soothing voice, people might be irate when they call and thus office moral would be on the decline. I feel that as the first line of defense I am providing an invaluable service to the people of ERCB.
Secondly, I sort the various mail and email traffic we get. Not just for our office, but for the WHOLE BUILDING. I undertake this task not with fear, but with a sense of pride knowing that infrastructure can find their mail in the same spot every day, that junk mail will be thwarted by my watchful eye, and that should someone need an ERP email, they need only click on the ERP folder. Your eyes would glisten with pride if you saw how much bigger and bouncier the elastic ball is since I have arrived! Why just this morning the largest pile of mail you have ever seen was delivered by an ailing Canada Post employee. In a matter of minutes (I have become very proficient at my job) I was able to sort the mail into the various colorful folders, and noone ever worried themselves over how they would pick their mail out of such a large pile. I save people valuable time and money from looking around under bushes and trees for mail. Instead they can devote every waking minute of their work day to more useful and productive tasks.
Finally, when those first 2 duties have been meticulously fulfilled, I search exhaustively for materials which can only make me a better employee. I am endeavoring to become a spiritual guru, so that should people need a counselor or person of faith who has no bias or even a real faith of her own, they can consult with me. Think of all the time this will save! Instead of going home to grieve for loved ones, people can do it right here at work while performing their own duties. Just the other day Amanda was upset about hitting a deer and I reminded her that the deer went to heaven and I think she felt cheered.
From time to time I do consult Facebook, but it is only to search for lost souls who are in need of uplifting. While I will never abandon my followers, rest assured that my primary duties and responsibilities are with the ERCB and I am first, and foremost, at your disposal.
Sincerely,
Patricia Eastman
This is the email I sent him
To: Frank Parolin
Re: Productivity Report
June 22, 2010
Dear Mr. Parolin,
In regards to your earlier comments where you speculated on my computer endeavors, I would just like to clarify where exactly your hard-earned dollars are going. When I began with this office, I was just another out of work secretary who knew some about computer programs. As I was welcomed into this haven by the wonderful people who are your coworkers, I began to realize that my life here could be so much more. I have been so encouraged and uplifted by the people who work here that I lay awake at night with visions of how I can make exceptional contributions to the team as well.
My first role is obviously to field the various important calls that come to the office. Were it not for my pleasant and soothing voice, people might be irate when they call and thus office moral would be on the decline. I feel that as the first line of defense I am providing an invaluable service to the people of ERCB.
Secondly, I sort the various mail and email traffic we get. Not just for our office, but for the WHOLE BUILDING. I undertake this task not with fear, but with a sense of pride knowing that infrastructure can find their mail in the same spot every day, that junk mail will be thwarted by my watchful eye, and that should someone need an ERP email, they need only click on the ERP folder. Your eyes would glisten with pride if you saw how much bigger and bouncier the elastic ball is since I have arrived! Why just this morning the largest pile of mail you have ever seen was delivered by an ailing Canada Post employee. In a matter of minutes (I have become very proficient at my job) I was able to sort the mail into the various colorful folders, and noone ever worried themselves over how they would pick their mail out of such a large pile. I save people valuable time and money from looking around under bushes and trees for mail. Instead they can devote every waking minute of their work day to more useful and productive tasks.
Finally, when those first 2 duties have been meticulously fulfilled, I search exhaustively for materials which can only make me a better employee. I am endeavoring to become a spiritual guru, so that should people need a counselor or person of faith who has no bias or even a real faith of her own, they can consult with me. Think of all the time this will save! Instead of going home to grieve for loved ones, people can do it right here at work while performing their own duties. Just the other day Amanda was upset about hitting a deer and I reminded her that the deer went to heaven and I think she felt cheered.
From time to time I do consult Facebook, but it is only to search for lost souls who are in need of uplifting. While I will never abandon my followers, rest assured that my primary duties and responsibilities are with the ERCB and I am first, and foremost, at your disposal.
Sincerely,
Patricia Eastman
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